It sounds like Denmark was recently in the news in the U.S. for once again being voted the happiest place on earth. And the thinking goes that some of this is due to just not having inflated expectations for things. For example, in the U.S., we are all just a little elbow grease away from fame, beauty, and wealth. In Denmark, well, they kind of already look like models, and people who drive expensive cars sometimes have to worry that the cars will be vandalized for being showy and for making the owners think too highly of themselves, and people live in often quite small apartments because housing is so expensive. Anyway, you’re never remarkable here, and you shouldn’t try to be. And that takes a lot of pressure off, I think, and maybe even lets people enjoy what they are doing without questioning whether it’s a good enough time, or comparing it to other people, who might be doing something else with better people or what have you. Also, so many events are sort of in the script — people spend their free time and their vacations and their holidays enjoying the same things as everyone else.

Anyway, I think we are experiencing a version of this in our house. I think it’s Mabel’s default to say she hates it here, and it’s boring, but I have noticed a bit of an upturn in her general mood. She is more even tempered and good humored. The change is palpable though I wouldn’t say this to her, as she would have to prove me wrong. And Nick says he likes Denmark and is happy. They still don’t have much going on, they still don’t have much social life, but they have achieved a level of general acceptance of this. So yesterday I took them downtown to meet a family considering moving here from Seattle for lunch, and that was fine, and then we did go to the small photo gallery I tried to take them to over the Christmas break, and that was pleasant, and then we did the grocery shopping on the way home. But the day was bright and they both said they had a good time. I’m not sure they would have said the same a year ago.

Part of this is that they don’t have a lot of activities, so just getting out in the world is a nice change.  But I also think that Mabel is in a funny place with school. She doesn’t like it. It’s much harder for her than it would be if she were working in English, and I don’t think her teachers or fellow students really understand that there is a gap between her intellect and her ability to understand them, or express herself. She’s still trapped in a pretty limited vocabulary.  But she doesn’t have the same expectations of school and friendships as she would if she were in an English language environment, and while it’s frustrating and maddening and often really boring, she doesn’t take it personally. So I sometimes wonder if she’s missing out on learning some formative lessons by not being exposed to the cruelty of girls at this age, or if she’s going to be better off in the long run without it, less damaged. Both kids know how to entertain themselves really well now, but do they also know how to be social, and enjoy and get along with other kids? I think it’s about 70-30 right now, and I’m going to bet that when circumstances change some day, that balance will shift accordingly.