A few columns ago, as I began systematically pulling out what little hair I have, I wrote about an on-going series of conversations taking place in my living room. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d celebrated a Chinese gift-exchange and we were settling down to examine our presents.<\/p>\n
What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a Chinese gift exchange? Glad you asked: To us, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s simply a process in which people draw numbers; the person with the lowest number selects the first wrapped gift, each person drawing according to the numbers. Those with the higher numbers, those who pick last, are allowed to trade their gift for any other gift drawn by a smaller number, and we place a limit on how many times a gift can change hands.<\/p>\n
But sometimes we all get more involved in the logic or illogic of the process or the perceived unfairness than in the gifts themselves. And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what happened that Christmas, when almost a dozen first cousins, their spouses and children began the discussion.<\/p>\n
But first, a disclosure. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re talking about college-educated relatives here, almost all with a B.A. degree and change. Their years in higher education ought to have taught them the proper phrasing of the language, but when Cousin No. 1, the oldest, my son, converses with Cousin No. 6, my niece, the King\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s English makes a rapid exit.<\/p>\n
So instead of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pleased with the gift I got,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d we get \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m like all kinds of happy, because, like I can really use this, ya know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nWell, that phenomenon seems to happen any time the cousins get together. An observer would surmise that he was listening to a group of adolescents whose favorite words are \u00e2\u20ac\u0153like,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ya know,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I mean,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153stuff\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I dunno,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d rather than a 30-ish group of people who hold steady jobs.<\/p>\n
Though I believe all of the cousins are well able to turn off the teen-speak switch and return to normal English, I have to admit that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve at least suffered some corruption in the way they express themselves. The fact that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re intimately acquainted with all the uses of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153like\u00e2\u20ac\u009d makes quite a statement.<\/p>\n
Where does all this linguistic debauchery come from? At the time, we had the TV on to one of the late-night talk shows, where some rock star was expounding on her philosophy of life. She, and millions of others like her, like have virtually eliminated \u00e2\u20ac\u0153said\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153says\u00e2\u20ac\u009d from the language. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Said\u00e2\u20ac\u009d used to be a perfectly useful word which introduced a bit of quoted material, as in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He said, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI received a gift for Christmas.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
In teen-speak, that statement would probably be rendered as, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI like got like a gift like for Christmas.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d See the difference?<\/p>\n
People are hearing the pillaging of the Mother Tongue from those in the limelight, celebrities who by virtue of their status get plenty of airtime. \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcTis a pity so much of their butchery of the language gets picked up and repeated.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Ya know why so many people die in auto accidents? Texting while driving. Notice how often a person asleep at a traffic light is glancing down at a cell phone, trying to compose a telegraphic sentence while appearing to be doing no such thing.<\/p>\n
Almost daily, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll give a friendly honk to someone who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in the midst of pecking out \u00e2\u20ac\u0153LOL\u00e2\u20ac\u009d for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153laughing out loud.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But even sending that brief message is safer than a variation of that, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ROFLMAO,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which means \u00e2\u20ac\u0153rolling on the floor, laughing my a– off.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Rolling on the floor of the car? While driving? In traffic?<\/p>\n
Trying to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153dig\u00e2\u20ac\u009d what these seasoned texters are trying to communicate, I looked up \u00e2\u20ac\u0153InternetSlang.com\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and found hundreds of renditions of two-to-four-letter combinations that mean something.<\/p>\n
Here are some: SMH, YOLO, OOMF, HTTR and GUAP. Any ideas? The first is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153shaking my head,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d followed by \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you only live once.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d As for the other meanings, I suggest you ask a texter.<\/p>\n
But even if SMH appears to be a compact way of expressing an action, perhaps of bewilderment or amazement, is it ever necessary to convey that idea while texting?<\/p>\n
Ask a texter. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re easy to find.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A few columns ago, as I began systematically pulling out what little hair I have, I wrote about an on-going series of conversations taking place in my living room. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d celebrated a Chinese gift-exchange and we were settling down to examine our presents. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a Chinese gift exchange? Glad you asked: To us, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s simply […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1022"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1023,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1022\/revisions\/1023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}