Arrrggg! That blasted password! For as long as I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve paraded my technological ineptness, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been cursed by the password, that brilliant invention designed to help people along but now behaves like a bank vault.<\/p>\n
Seriously, does a password ever do anything but prevent the user \u00e2\u20ac\u201d the poor sap who paid good money for the computer \u00e2\u20ac\u201d from gaining access?<\/p>\n
Wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it be great if we could come up with a single password for each application: for getting mail, for doing financial transactions, for playing games, for getting into Facebook?<\/p>\n
As a solution, how about a game we used to play \u00e2\u20ac\u201d I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t recall its name, if it ever had one \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but we called it \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Getting Warmer.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Generally we kids would hide something from a classmate at Immaculate Conception School. It was fun until our homeroom teacher, Sister Mary Te Pego, deemed that the game was cruel and took advantage of others.<\/p>\n
Simply, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d wait until a student left an item unattended: a textbook, a notebook, a pen, a marble or a freshly pocketed frog. When the student returned, puzzled and worried that one of us had copped the item, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d say we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re playing \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Getting Warmer.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Then the search started: The student would walk around the classroom, and we would say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153getting warmer\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or, if the student were far from the quest, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153freezing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
One of the conditions was that if the searcher were physically close to the object but didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t search actively, the temp would cool. So it was possible for the object to go from \u00e2\u20ac\u0153getting warmer\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153absolutely freezing\u00e2\u20ac\u009d without doing anything. The game was fun, especially for those who hid other kids\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 stuff.<\/p>\n
Why, then can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t computer passwords work the same way? Why can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t our laptops give us clues? In my experience, the only definitive message my computer delivers is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Incorrect Password.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And as further punishment, if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve taken too many stabs at the password, it tells me so \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and locks me out.<\/p>\n
Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what often happens:<\/p>\n
To get into an application, I need to supply a password. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a word-number combination that users feed into the computer, something others won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t figure out.<\/p>\n
Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a crack-proof password! Oh, too short? Madam Laptop says it must be at least six characters.<\/p>\n
Done!<\/p>\n
Not so fast: It must have a capital.<\/p>\n
Still won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let me in? Oh, I see. I used a similar password during the era when the great Coronado built his bridge. OK, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll change it to a book I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve read recently. Done!<\/p>\n
I just read, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go Set a Watchman.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s kind of a sequel too \u00e2\u20ac\u0153To Kill a Mockingbird.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d No, the original book title is not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tequila Mockingbird.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d appreciate it if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d leave the humor to me.<\/p>\n
Sorry. But now you insist I include at least one number? Here goes: 7.\u00c2\u00a0Still not there. When will I ever get there? Can you let me in just once \u00e2\u20ac\u201d on the honor system? I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the only one who uses this machine and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mine. Really! I can teach you the rudiments of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Getting Warmer\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and maybe you could tell me if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m getting closer to the right password. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s demeaning, ya know, for you to reject every effort I make without explaining if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m on the right track.<\/p>\n
Still no access. Darn!<\/p>\n
The next time, my password is going to be MickeyMouseBarneyFifeBugsBunnyJeffersonCityThumbPinkie7.com.<\/p>\n
Look, Madam Web Administrator, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m only following directions. You insisted I have at least three characters. There they are! Haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you ever heard of Walt Disney or watched TV?<\/p>\n
Then you demanded a capital. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s there, in the middle of the Show-Me State, and you ask for too digits. Do Thumb and Pinkie suffice?<\/p>\n
Arrrggg. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still locked out. Maybe I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll recruit my family\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s new teenaged exchange students, Ana Granados and Phaedra Wouters, to pull me out of this morass.<\/p>\n
In fairness to the jailers who prevent my access to my own data, there are different applications that purport to store all that information. I just now glanced into a file of such a collection and discovered I have perhaps 75 passwords, some for bank accounts, some for newspapers, some for games.<\/p>\n
How can one person recall all those alphanumeric passwords? Yes, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve written them down, but that still doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help.<\/p>\n
Sometimes \u00e2\u20ac\u201d I kid you not \u00e2\u20ac\u201d passwords I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve used for years fail to work. Just this week I received a notice from Tivo, explaining that the account for this program, which allows users to record various TV programs weeks in advance and store them indefinitely, needs too be fed again. Apparently my debit card expires soon.<\/p>\n
So like a good customer, I attempted to provide my new number. But it wanted a password first. Years ago, when I started receiving hundreds of unwanted emails, I changed not only my user name but the password as well.<\/p>\n
Now, the Tivo people don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe me. Is there a phone number I can call to settle my account the old-fashioned way? Naturally not.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
My son, Stanley Adam, sent a post showing an angry, bearded man saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The number of people who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know the difference between to and too is two damn high.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a chance to explain the difference in terms you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard all your life. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Two\u00e2\u20ac\u009d doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to be much of a problem. I just think of the two loops in the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153w\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of that word and remember it that way.<\/p>\n
The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153to\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153too\u00e2\u20ac\u009d problem is a bit different. Rather than try to explain that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcto\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 is a preposition,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d etc., I put it this way:<\/p>\n
People don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t always pronounce \u00e2\u20ac\u0153to\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153t.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d In much speech, we say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153tuh\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or even \u00e2\u20ac\u0153duh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I like tuh swim,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s go duh town,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or they elide it, as in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wanna dance?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Now that you know that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153too\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153to\u00e2\u20ac\u009d don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even sound alike, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve solved that simple source of confusion.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Why is gas $1.98 in Santa Fe, and about $2.39 here?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Arrrggg! That blasted password! For as long as I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve paraded my technological ineptness, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been cursed by the password, that brilliant invention designed to help people along but now behaves like a bank vault. Seriously, does a password ever do anything but prevent the user \u00e2\u20ac\u201d the poor sap who paid good money for the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1432"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1433,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1432\/revisions\/1433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}