\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 A home-grown e-mail making the rounds covers the theme of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if …” It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s similar to the paradigm made famous by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, which declares, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You might be a redneck …” And here he inserts something like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… if at least four of your dogs get killed whenthe porch of your trailer collapses.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The Vegas version contains some extremely witty entries. My favorite reads: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if you were threatened constantly with, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153La Llorona is going to hear you if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stop crying.”<\/p>\n
\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Second place goes to: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if you believed that you would get paid $50 for referring a patient to the \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcAsilo.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 And honorable mention goes to, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcTopper\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 ever washed your windshield.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d known of the joint composition ahead of time, mine would have blown everybody else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s away. Here goes: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Vegas if you begin every sentence in English and end it en espa\u00c3\u00b1ol, que no?”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Not the greatest entry but something that created memories was an anonymous submission that reads, in part, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if the most common cure for your ills is \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcAceite Mexicano.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 It took a while to distinguish between \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Aceite Mexicano,” literally Mexican oil, which comes in a 2-ounce bottle and is intended to relieve \u00e2\u20ac\u0153muscle joint ache” and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153arthritis pain,” and other remedies which Mom kept handy: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Liniment”and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Volcanic Oil.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 All are available to anyone willing to bid on e-bay, the online auction.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Thousands of people in Las Vegas grew up being treated by these products. In my household, we learned not to complain about body aches and pains, lest Mom whip out one of her favorites, McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Liniment.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Let me explain:
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m fascinated by the tall bottle it came in, packed inside a long illustrated orange box. The first panel shows a man walking a lame horse; the second frame shows another man applying McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Liniment to the horse, and in the final panel, the horseman is back on the horse that speeds off, so fast that the man loses his hat. Now if McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s can do that for a horse, imagine what it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll do for you.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 After quitting smoking, in my forties, I acquired an incredible sense of smell that tuned up my olfactory system as well, allowing me to recall scents from long ago. Upon reading the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas” e-mail, I was able to remember how McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s liniment smelled, like coal oil, turpentine and sugar.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I remember the shelf where the liniment was kept at Orlando Marquez\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grocery on Grand and George Maloof\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s store on Bridge Street. My recollection is that scrapes and bruises required application of the ointment. But once, I spied Mom putting a few drops of it into water, adding a spoonful sugar and telling me to drink it, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153to clean out your system.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 It worked. But that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean I said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Give me some more, please.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 If I complained, well, see the No. 1 reference to La Llorona, above.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I thought the dosing might have been an anomaly, an old wive\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tale, which declareth that anything that tasteth awful is good for thee. I soon learned these remedies were common, for internal and external use.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Around age 10, as an Optic seller, I entered a three-story apartment on East Douglas Avenue, behind what used to be the Troy or Craddock Hotel. A man who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been visiting in that brick apartment building asked me if I could help him.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d dropped a set of keys down a hole in his own apartment, between Douglas Elementary and the Presbyterian Church. He said my hand was small enough to fit in that opening. Before I tried to rescue the house keys, the man made a mixture of McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Liniment and Aceite Mexicano, added water and took a swig, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153for a bracer,” as if he were the one about to risk having a rat gnaw off his entire hand. He suggested I rub some on my hands \u00e2\u20ac\u0153in case of cuts.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like taking the antidote before you swallow the poison. It must\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve worked, as I got the keys without incident.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The smell of the combination of the remedies lingers. I thought last night, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What if one of these products is still being sold locally?” At Wal-Mart? I checked the first-aid section where Aceite Mexicano and McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ought to be but struck out. Does that mean there wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t any?
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 No, just that men don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t usually ask directions.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 One other memory that got triggered by the Vegas e-mail concerns a waitress at what used to be the Red Ball Cafe, where Grand, Lincoln and Sixth Street meet.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 She used to put a friendly hand on the arm of every customer she waited on.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I liked that \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and her. As she drew near, like a walking tube of Ben- Gay, we knew she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been gargling McLean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and Aceite Mexicano or using them as a cologne.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 She worked there for years, but the businesses have been closed much longer.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I never thought of her again until late last year as I walked by the Red Ball Cafe, which later became the Sportsman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Bar, also known as Center Block. Following a season of heavy rain, the building collapsed and remains a heap of bricks.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Ironically, rather than burying bits of history, the implosion unearthed memories for me, of a waitress, Ruby,\u00c2\u00a0 who believed in these old-time remedies.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Keep up the bright submissions, those of you out there who are putting Vegas on the map with \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Vegas if . . .”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 And add you own memories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 A home-grown e-mail making the rounds covers the theme of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re from Las Vegas if …” It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s similar to the paradigm made famous by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, which declares, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You might be a redneck …” And here he inserts something like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… if at least four of your dogs get killed whenthe […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}