{"id":251,"date":"2008-01-03T13:27:46","date_gmt":"2008-01-03T18:27:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/?p=251"},"modified":"2008-01-06T13:30:04","modified_gmt":"2008-01-06T18:30:04","slug":"is-the-convertible-top-up-or-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/?p=251","title":{"rendered":"Is the convertible top up or down?"},"content":{"rendered":"

No matter how hard I try, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t grasp various temporal and spatial concepts.<\/font>For example, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never understood it when someone says he rode in his convertible “with the top down.” Fortunately, there are few convertibles anymore, so I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to think. But seriously, does having the top down mean the convertible was closed? Or was it open?<\/p>\n

Someone, please set me straight on this concept. Three members of my family say the top down is the way to enjoy the open air. But somehow that seems just plain wrong.<\/p>\n

Another concept I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve wrestled with is the idea of “setting the clock back” for the time change. To me, setting the clock back means reversing the motion of the hands. Ergo, at 2 a.m., if we set the hands to read 1 a.m., we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve “set the clock back.” I say this because “setting the clock back” is (to me) the act of backing up the time or reversing the order.<\/p>\n

The principal at a reservation school where I taught unwittingly invited the student body to show up at school two hours late the following Monday. In those days, most if the hogans on the reservation lacked electricity, sunrise for many of them being the determiner of when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time to head for school.<\/p>\n

Well, the principal made his announcement the weekend before the time change, in May, and rather than instructing them to show up an hour earlier, told them to show up an hour later.<\/p>\n

Were the principal\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s instructions ambiguous, or did the majority of the student body simply take advantage of the change to cop a few more zzzs?<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n

What does one mean when one turns the car air conditioner up? Does that mean increasing the temperature by reducing the cooling? Likewise, does “turning it down” mean the AC works harder?<\/p>\n

And what about “pushing the deadline back”? The experts in my household argue that means the workers now have more time to work on the important project. They are wrong. They imply the crew has until May, not April, to finish the work.<\/p>\n

Sorry, but “pushing the deadline back” means completing the work earlier.<\/p>\n

We see warning signs on the back of big industrial vehicles, often on trucks that spray paint crosswalks. The message usually reads, “Keep back at least 50 to 100 feet.” Does that give us a choice?<\/p>\n

Or how about the kid pitching the curriculum for Sylvan Learning Centers, who announces he “used to get straight \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.” But now, with the magic of the learning program, “I now get \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcstraight “A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u02dc and B\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.” Well, now, if he develops a case of senioritis, can he expect “straight A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, B\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and C\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s”?<\/p>\n

Many traffic signs warn us to use caution, as there are “Slow children at play.”<\/p>\n

And we puzzle over “drawing the blinds.” Does such an action result in open or closed blinds? One family member said it all depends on the position of the blinds in the first place: If the blinds are closed, they end up open; if opened, they get closed.<\/p>\n

Granted, someone could easily consult a dictionary and demonstrate the metaphysical truth behind “moving the clock back,” “riding with the top up,” and other expressions which make people stop and think.<\/p>\n

But that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the point. Even attending an eight-hour seminar would fail to teach me, instinctively, the meanings of the terms. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s more fun to be a curmudgeon.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n

And on the subject of ambiguous language, I noticed a sign at Gordon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that reads, “Watch batteries installed here.” So we watched for a while and no batteries got installed. Shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t store manager Calvin Baker III try harder to give the public something to watch?<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n

A wonderful New Year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s present came in the form of a phone call from Mary Ann Goke, who asked if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the grandfather to an Arthur Trujillo, “who used to attend school at Mike Mateo Elementary.” I certainly am.<\/p>\n

Goke, who said she enjoyed providing childcare for Arthur and others, inquired about my 11-year-old grandson and said she wished to hear his voice.<\/p>\n

In fact, Mary Ann said the first thing she looks for when she reads “Work of Art” is any mention of my namesake.<\/p>\n

Consider it done, Mary Ann, and both Arthurs thank you for the compliment.<\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No matter how hard I try, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t grasp various temporal and spatial concepts.For example, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never understood it when someone says he rode in his convertible “with the top down.” Fortunately, there are few convertibles anymore, so I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to think. But seriously, does having the top down mean the convertible was closed? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=251"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}