\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I \u00c2\u00a0demand an immediate apology!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Awwright, I apologize.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s more like it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Have there ever been any more meaningless words than those surrounding a call for an immediate apology? Not likely.<\/p>\n
U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) heckled President Obama last week by blurting out, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You lie!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d when Obama referred to non-coverage of illegal immigrants in regard to the new health reform he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pushing. By any measure, the congressman was wrong: You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t heckle the president. The address was the president\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time slot, not the congressman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s. Wilson was wrong.<\/p>\n
Wilson had to have known the repercussions of his heckling. Others in the hall surely did, judging from the derisive sounds directed at him. Had the same thing happened, for example, when George W. Bush was speaking, an outburst by a Democratic member of Congress, the disapproval would be just as strong. The speech was Obama\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u201d not Wilson\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u201d opportunity to address the joint session and the American public. Wilson\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s outburst was more like the highly choreographed Town Hall disruptions, which possess all the pomp and decorum of the Rush Limbaugh talk show shout-\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem-down policy.<\/p>\n
But let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s move on \u00e2\u20ac\u201d or as many a politician is wont to say\u00e2\u20ac\u201d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s move forward.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Wilson apologized to the White House the next day and Obama accepted. Yet, some members of the House of Representatives want Wilson to apologize to them as well. Or else they may push for a resolution of public disapproval.<\/p>\n
In spite of the derision from members who heard Wilson\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you lie!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d during Obama\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s address, Wilson has become some kind of folk hero. One supporter said of the lawmaker, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the only one who has guts in that whole place. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll get re-elected in a landslide.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And donations to help him carry out his fight against the health care bill pour in.<\/p>\n
But rather than speculate on his chances at re-election, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s discuss the act of apologizing as an exercise in the use of empty words.<\/p>\n
Let me explain:<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153King Lear,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d one of Shakespeare\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tragedies, features an aging king who summons his three daughters to the court, where he asks each one, in turn, to quantify the amount of love they have for him. The share of Lear\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s kingdom is proportional to the amount of panegyrics each daughter can unveil. The daughter who declares her love in the showiest way wins the choicest part of the kingdom.<\/p>\n
Lear starts with the oldest, Goneril, who b.s.-es him to the point of nausea (ours, as spectators, not the king\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s). The second-oldest, Regan, declares herself an enemy of anything that fails to please her dad, insisting, of course, that her love for the king is even stronger than Goneril\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.<\/p>\n
Lear then invites the youngest, Cordelia, to carve out for herself a good chunk of his kingdom by piling on the praise even higher. But she doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do that. She\u00c2\u00a0replies that she indeed loves her father but refuses to engage in the hyperbole used by her sisters.<\/p>\n
Her honesty costs her dearly, as she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s banished and eventually slain.<\/p>\n
And all King Lear wanted was to hear his daughter utter words of love, however empty they may be. And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the essence of so many apologies today.<\/p>\n
Consider, then, the typical demand for an apology, which in itself taints the process. The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153offender,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d about to utter the magic words, isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t repentant or contrite. In fact, the apologizer generally has an excuse anyway: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorry I heckled you, but I feel strongly about immigration\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I made a mistake, and besides, nobody\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s perfect.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
So what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the point of a demanded apology? If members of the house, mostly Democrats who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to see a Republican squirm, succeed in extracting an apology, what have they gained? What they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve gained is merely the mouthing of words, a verbal going-through-the-motions, which in no way assures that it won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen again. Yet, those in a position to accept or reject the apology probably feel better once they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard the words, regardless of Wilson\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s motivations in speaking them. In their mind, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve made the apologist wince.<\/p>\n
What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the point of apologizing? Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a real apology carry the implicit mea culpa that means, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do that again\u00e2\u20ac\u009d?<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, tennis great Serena Williams appeared contrite in her apology for having lashed out at a lineswoman in a match Saturday after having a foot fault called against her. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I admit when I’m wrong,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Williams, guilty of an obscenity-laced tirade that cost her $10,500 in fines.<\/p>\n
Of course, the apology wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t immediate, and it was tempered by her saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s move on.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
So we have an 80-year-old king, the father of three who simply liked to hear his daughters heap on the praise; a U.S. Representative whose apology is vacuous; and a tennis player who admits she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrong and wants to move on.<\/p>\n
Apologies come in different dosages, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be the first to apologize when I believe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s warranted. But a forced apology?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sorry, but that just doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make sense.<\/p>\n
So what really is the use of apologizing under pressure?<\/p>\n
Maybe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for me to say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorrrry for even having brought up this subject.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I \u00c2\u00a0demand an immediate apology!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Awwright, I apologize.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s more like it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Have there ever been any more meaningless words than those surrounding a call for an immediate apology? Not likely. U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) heckled President Obama last week by blurting out, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You lie!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d when Obama referred to non-coverage of illegal immigrants […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=449"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":460,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions\/460"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}