As a way of giving back to Highlands University, my alma mater, I decided to pick up a newly minted license plate that bears the letters \u00e2\u20ac\u0153HU,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with the message, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go Cowboys\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on an attractive white-on-purple field.<\/p>\n
The plates became available this week at the local motor vehicle office, for a slightly higher fee than regular plates, Highlands receiving part of those fees. The trip to the MVD, while time-consuming, went surprisingly smoothly, considering it was also time to renew my driver\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s license, which expires next month, after eight years.<\/p>\n
The plate contains five digits, with a couple of zeroes tossed in. Theoretically, the number of digits would allow 99,999 plates to be sold without duplication or running out. My number, if you ignore a couple of zeroes, comes quite close to my current weight. But that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a topic for a later column.<\/p>\n
My clerk on Monday was Susie Baldonado, who handled both transactions. We did the plate first. I asked whether there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been a rush to buy the Highlands license plates, inasmuch as mine was already in the 200s. Susie said that the local facility actually received a supply that begins in the low 200s, which makes us wonder which HU VIPs qualified for the lowest numbers, the way governors like their plate to carry No. 00001.<\/p>\n
When I read about the plan to issue Highlands plates, I noticed the photo of the plate contained the words \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go Cowboys.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Fair enough, so in a column I wrote that I hoped a comma would separate \u00e2\u20ac\u0153go\u00e2\u20ac\u009d from \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Cowboys\u00e2\u20ac\u009d before the legislature approved the plates. Why? No big deal?<\/p>\n
Well, a simple comma can mean the difference between the following sets: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The teacher said the student is a fool\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The teacher, said the student, is a fool.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s calling whom a fool?<\/p>\n
Or imagine the difference between \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the latest dope?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the latest, dope?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m eating chicken\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m eating, chicken.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
We realize that the several dozen UNM plates around this town have \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go Lobos\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (without a comma). But just because the folks at the big university in Albuquerque can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t punctuate, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean we need to follow suit.<\/p>\n
We can get into all kinds of university rivalries this way. In fact, we may ask what the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153N\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on the helmets of the Cornhuskers football team stands for. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s simple: The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153N\u00e2\u20ac\u009d stands for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nowledge.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
I refuse to drive with a punctuationally incorrect license plate and have resolved to buy a bottle of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153White-Out\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and insert a comma on the purple background of the plate (the letters are white). But is White-Out even manufactured anymore?<\/p>\n
We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard of the secretary who made corrections by applying the white stuff directly to the computer screen. But do people use it anymore? Somehow I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll find some that hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t dried out, dab on the missing comma, and drive with a clear conscience, knowing I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done my duty.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
The driver\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s license was the next step Susie Baldonado took me through. I took an eye test then had my photo taken. An account I came across not long ago mentioned that one ought not smile when being photographed for passports or driver\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s licenses. The report said people\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s images should appear natural, the way they would if standing in a line of 6,000, awaiting passport clearance in a foreign airport. At both places, officials assured me that report is false.<\/p>\n
So, contrary to what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d heard, I was allowed to smile pretty for the MVD camera, realizing \u00e2\u20ac\u0153pretty\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is a relative term. But minutes later, as she was completing the procedure, Susie informed me I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d gotten too low a score to qualify.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Even with LASIK surgery, performed years ago, my eyes aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t as sharp as they could be,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I thought. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did I miss too many letters during the eye test.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Susie explained that the low score \u00e2\u20ac\u201d 24 \u00e2\u20ac\u201d concerned the mug-shot she took of me and not the vision test.<\/p>\n
I wondered, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is there an ugliness quotient? Do only good-looking people like Brad Pitt get to drive? Do I need to slick down my hair, trim the mustache a bit? How did Mike Tyson or Michael Jackson ever get licensed?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Patiently, Susie said the MVD uses a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Facial Recognition Camera,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which checks the present visage against the old one, presumably to prevent identity theft.<\/p>\n
On the re-shoot, the smile was broader, and when she showed me the old and the newest versions, the resemblance was dismaying. Dismaying if you overlook the wrinkles, crow\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s feet, gray hair and wattle in the 2010 version.<\/p>\n
On the second take, I passed with a score of 59. Not great, but more than double the previous score. And to think I fretted, with a score of 24, that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m one-fourth the man I was a few short years ago.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As a way of giving back to Highlands University, my alma mater, I decided to pick up a newly minted license plate that bears the letters \u00e2\u20ac\u0153HU,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with the message, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go Cowboys\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on an attractive white-on-purple field. The plates became available this week at the local motor vehicle office, for a slightly higher fee than […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":581,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580\/revisions\/581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}