Is there a chance Americans just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t read as much as they used to? And if they do, have their reading habits and choice of material changed significantly? And can we count the texting-pecking exchanges on iPhone keyboards as reading?<\/p>\n
I ask this question earnestly. At the moment I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have access to data to verify or contradict what I believe. In this case, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just asking.<\/p>\n
A Highlands professor I really respect, back in the days when we used to eat dinosaurs, Elmer Schooley, made a believer of me.<\/p>\n
Carelessly, I made my orthographic \u00e2\u20ac\u0153v\u00e2\u20ac\u009d look like an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153r,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and the professor wrote a note on my exam paper, with the grade lowered one full letter, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When people misspell words that appear in their textbooks, that tells me they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not reading the assignments.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He had a point. An excellent point. Of course I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d read the required chapters, and my lowered grade came courtesy of careless penmanship. Yet, given the way people write and speak today, we wonder: Do people read as much as they used to? And is the quality of the reading material worthy of praise?<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m convinced that a great many people merely listen, and they base their own speaking, writing and spelling on what they think they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard. How else would otherwise intelligent people refer to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153time and memorial\u00e2\u20ac\u009d when they mean \u00e2\u20ac\u0153time immemorial\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? And how about \u00e2\u20ac\u0153don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t misunderestimate me,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d?\\ spoken by George W. Bush?<\/p>\n
People commit malaprops. I wrote a while back about a Highlands student who referred to having been left \u00e2\u20ac\u0153strangled in the subway.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Surely, she meant \u00e2\u20ac\u0153stranded\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sub,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as in Student Union Building. I asked others who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d heard her lament, and they agreed that what she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d said seemed sincere, even if it was a grammatical train wreck.<\/p>\n
Of course there are malapropisms, named in honor of a character in a 1775 play by Sheridan, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Rivals.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The character of Mrs. Malaprop was given to using similar-sounding words instead of the correct ones, often with comic effect. One utterance by Mrs. Malaprop in that play was, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He is the very pineapple of politeness.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
So we hear expressions like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You could have knocked me over with a fender.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d On radio last month, someone said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153without further to-do\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the place of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ado.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And we also heard, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bite into that idea.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Too many of these unusual usages of the language point to people\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s failure to see the words in print, and therefore they assume that what they utter is correct. And of course, we all know what happens when we ass-u-me.<\/p>\n
So, for the next few paragraphs, you may take a reading tour of various malapropisms, uttered by some well-known speakers, mostly politicians. As you read them, try to figure out what actual word the speaker intended:<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is unparalyzed in the state\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s history.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The speaker was Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201dGeorge W. Bush.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Dan Quayle, vice president<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, that was a cliff-dweller.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Wes Westrum, about a close baseball game.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Mike Smith, ordering a salad at a restaurant.<\/p>\n
Other malapropisms, not necessarily attributed, include:<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, I try to look at the bright side. I guess you could say I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an internal optometrist.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Archie Bunker of the old sitcom All in the Family is credited with saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A witness shall not bare falsies against thy neighbor.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Christopher Moltisanti in The Sopranos gets credit for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why not? Play captains against each other, create a little dysentery in the ranks.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
And Little Carmine of The Sopranos is reputed to have said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no stigmata connected with going to a shrink.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s one person who obviously reads a lot. Sara Harris, a Highlands professor of languages, e-mailed this observation:<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I was reading a People magazine and there was an article about Prince Harry which was titled \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcWhat does he wear out?\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 I got to thinking that it could actually mean three things. What garment does he leave hanging out … likea shirt tail, what item does he wear out because he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s used it way too long, or, and, of course, this is what they really meant … what does he wear to go out?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Sara\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s observation calls to mind a term my brother, Severino, used when we were kids: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I beat you up this morning.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You what? If you did, I must have slept through it. Where are the bruises?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
What my brother meant was merely that he got up earlier than I did. He wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t referring to anything violent (the violence usually occurred later, in our back yard).<\/p>\n
But really now … it seems \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I beat you up\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is much more efficient way of conveying the message. What are the alternatives: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I arose before you did\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I availed myself to matutinal matters while you were in soporific\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I levitated prior to you during matins\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I acquired morning consciousness before you roused yourself from your medieval torpor\u00e2\u20ac\u009d?<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I beat you up\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sounds better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Is there a chance Americans just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t read as much as they used to? And if they do, have their reading habits and choice of material changed significantly? And can we count the texting-pecking exchanges on iPhone keyboards as reading? I ask this question earnestly. At the moment I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have access to data to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=832"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":836,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions\/836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}