The seasons are confused. Where else would we the people lengthen the day, under something called Daylight Saving Time, when each day is already getting longer? Similarly, we shorten days that are already on their way to being abbreviated.<\/p>\n
And we play a lot with the presumed ending times. Well, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still here, as I assume most of you are, possibly to the disappointment of the Mayans, who told us the world was about to end a couple of weeks ago. Imagine the embarrassment of some who may have believed the end was to be the next day.<\/p>\n
So they partied, drank, caroused and let loose as if there were no tomorrow, which to them, that was a possibility. But then to have to report to work the next day … What kinds of explanations might one come up with for the previous night\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s riotous behavior? I can hear it now: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But Honey, I really believed the world was ending.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
New Year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day itself is confusing. Remember, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the day we enforce all our resolutions: to be more organized, to save 10 percent of our earnings, to contribute more to the church, to develop better habits, and \u00e2\u20ac\u201d especially on Jan. 1 \u00e2\u20ac\u201d to lose some weight.<\/p>\n
Some have asked me why that familiar bit of poundage stopped appearing under my photo in Work of Art. Well, the answer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s simple: We hesitate to keep reporting old news. So if there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no change \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and regrettably there hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been \u00e2\u20ac\u201d let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s skip the weight until there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s some progress.<\/p>\n
But speaking for a great many people, I think New Year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day is confused because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the start of a host of college bowl games that will be watched by millions. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s difficult to watch an entire game without a bowl of popcorn or chips at hand, and sometimes even a beer. So what do we do? Do we say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I promise to mend my ways right after this game?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And even those who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t watch football but who go to Blue Jeans bashes on New Year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Eve may want to spend the next day recovering from partying. The after-effects of partying don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t conduce right away to eating healthy and going for a brisk walk.<\/p>\n
Overdosing on football games spoils the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153clean slate\u00e2\u20ac\u009d idea of starting our diets and exercise regimen immediately after the last bit of fireworks and gunfire have died out, signaling the New Year. Yes, this season is confusing.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
There was some reaction to my comments in a previous column regarding the existence of only one fruitcake. I mentioned that the single cake never got eaten but instead made the rounds, being endlessly re-gifted.<\/p>\n
A frequent contributor to this column, Ben Moffett, opines that instead of the single cake making the rounds, there \u00e2\u20ac\u0153might be no more than twenty or thirty.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Then Moffett adds, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I spit out the first bite I tried. Four or five years ago, however, I bit into one to remind myself how bad it was and I liked it. I liked the rummy taste, and I began to eat pieces whenever one came in. I think I may have eaten five or 10 of the 20 or so floaters over the years.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Rob Kyff, who writes an online column on language, collected some examples submitted by readers on some rather creative uses of the language. Here are a few, paraphrased, with random comments added:<\/p>\n
Can you spot the blots?<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Corrections:<\/p>\n
1. rogue, 2. mustered, 3. sow, 4. trough, 5. ring-necked, 6. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve, 7. plaque, 8. scald, 9. high school teacher, 10. pitcher<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
The arrival of Christmas was also confusing; it should have come on a weekend. Regardless, I assume the hymns and carols \u00e2\u20ac\u201d sent anonymously \u00e2\u20ac\u201d aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t yet that far-removed from your memory and you ought to be able to identify all these titles:<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Stay well, do good works and be sure to over-tip your breakfast server.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The seasons are confused. Where else would we the people lengthen the day, under something called Daylight Saving Time, when each day is already getting longer? Similarly, we shorten days that are already on their way to being abbreviated. And we play a lot with the presumed ending times. Well, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still here, as I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1019"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}