\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0 Remember the Serf Theater sign, the one abandoned several years ago, with \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In Her Shoes” left there, giving the impression it was one of history\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s longest-running movies?
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gone through several transformations, some rather clever, such as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Heros Shine” and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Risen.” Remember the rules: Thou who rearrangeth the sign shalt use all of the letters. Only recently, somebody took the trouble to anagrammize the west side of the sign.\u00ef\u00bf\u00bd
\nThe change now reads, \u00e2\u20ac\u01533 Roses for Her. Fini.” Apparently the sign also contained the date, \u00e2\u20ac\u015331 Fri.,” which accounts for the extra letters.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0So what are we to make of the latest attempt? Does the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fini,” obviously indicating \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the end,” apply here? Do we need to add \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fini” to a marquee, in the way reporters used to end their news stories with \u00e2\u20ac\u015330″? And does the sign really need a reminder that the 16- letter message has ended?
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 As a kid going to Spanish movies with my parents at the old Kiva on Bridge, I used to wonder at the spelling of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fine” at the conclusion of movies, until Dad explained \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fin” means \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the end” in Spanish. And in Latin and French, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153finis.” So apparently, the latest marquee arranger had either one letter too many or too few.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 I received an e-mail this week from Lynette Diaz Bachert, of Las Vegas, now in New Zealand. We met years ago when she was a high school journalist who joined our crew in Flagstaff for a two-week journalism workshop.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 She said she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to help me rearrange these same 10-14 letters at the Serf when she arrives for a visit in August. Apparently Lynette believes I have something to do with the arrangements. As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve stressed in previous columns, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t handle the letters; I merely report on them.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 My editor, David Giuliani made his opinion known the day he arrived here, in 2004. He faulted the omission of an apostrophe on a sign that warns of dire consequences if some unauthorized car parks in our spot. The sign tells of how such cars will be \u00e2\u20ac\u0153towed away at owners expense.” The word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153owners” lacks a bloomin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 apostrophe and should be \u00e2\u20ac\u0153owners\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 instead.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Giuliani\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve tried to right the matter by writing an apostrophe with a Right Writer, which lasts through one rainstorm.\u00ef\u00bf\u00bd
\nBut I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m more concerned about the message: Why do we even specify \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the owners\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 expense”? Has anyone ever threatened to have it towed at \u00e2\u20ac\u0153our expense”? Yeah, right. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll call a wrecker, but this trip will be on us. Have a nice day.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0Apostrophes perform lots of duties as English punctuation. Is there any character that causes more confusion?
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 For example, it appears few people can pluralize their own last names. In a church bulletin, we once read about a trip taken by our friends, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the Bunch\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.” It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really just one Bunch, but two or more Bunches (no apostrophe). Now if we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re talking about something that belongs to one of them, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Bunch\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s piano (or whatever); and if it belongs to all of them, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the Bunches\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 guitar (or house).
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 In a letter to a friend with the surname Gallegos, I pluralized the reference in the context of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153all the Gallegoses attended.” One Gallegos, two Gallegoses. One Aragon, two Aragones, not Aragon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, what are you doing to my good name?” my Gallegos friend asked.\u00ef\u00bf\u00bd
\nWell, I was trying to render it correctly, in plural form. He said he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never seen his name \u00e2\u20ac\u0153manacled” in such a way and preferred \u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcGallego\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 the way all of us Gallego\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s have always spelled it.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The quotation mark also causes woes, especially when people use it for emphasis. One sign in town specifies the facility will \u00e2\u20ac\u0153not” be responsible for lost or stolen items.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0Fair enough, but to emphasize that key word, there are italics, all caps, bold face, but one shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t use all three. When everybody\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shouting, nobody can hear.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0Quotations around individual words often give them an ironic twist, as if the writer meant exactly the opposite. A restaurant sign in town advertises \u00e2\u20ac\u0153special” salsa for its tacos. If the sauce is indeed special, the owners ought not tinker with that specialness.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0Quotes around that word may make customers wonder whether the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153special” salsa tastes like Drano. Or consider the oft-repeated sign in town: The pool is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153closed.” The superfluous punctuation makes people wonder: Is it open or closed? But no matter, they still need to rattle the door handle to make sure.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Finally, apostrophes can function as replacements for certain characters. In columns, I use the expression \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc60s to avoid having to write 1960s. Yet, many people, graduates of some sort, sprinkle gratuitous apostrophes generously. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s as if their teacher said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Students, you hold the key to the future, and as you embark on a new life after high school, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m giving each of you 112,000 \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcfree\u00e2\u20ac\u2122
\napostrophes. Use them generously, and any time you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what to do with an \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcs\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 at the end of a word, throw in an apostrophe.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0A thank-you note from a high school graduate contained the student\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s name with \u00e2\u20ac\u01532007″ next to it. Another note had simply \u00e2\u20ac\u015307.” Now such use of quotation marks indicates identity, as if the writer hopes to get out this message: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In high school I went by Gilbert, but now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to be called \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc2007.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u0153
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0Strange nickname, obviously shared by many others.
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0We also received a card from a relative who married a man with the surname \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lave.” We expected the return address to be from the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Laves” (one Lave, two Laves), but instead, it came out \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lave\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.”
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0And to you, college-educated relative who made the Dean\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s List a zillion times: Do we need to physically strip you of all the apostrophe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your English teacher once \u00e2\u20ac\u0153gave” you?
\n\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Fini.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0 Remember the Serf Theater sign, the one abandoned several years ago, with \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In Her Shoes” left there, giving the impression it was one of history\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s longest-running movies? \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gone through several transformations, some rather clever, such as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Heros Shine” and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Risen.” Remember the rules: Thou who rearrangeth the sign shalt […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=222"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}