My mommy told me a hundred million times not to exaggerate. But I continue to do so. When something is outrageously expressed, we can always say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, you ought to know I was exaggerating, deliberately.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
For example, when we say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been waiting for hours for Amtrak to arrive …\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 (Well, that would be accurate.) Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say instead, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been waiting for hours for the Rail Runner.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an exaggeration.<\/p>\n
I received an e-mail from a reader, who forwarded a column by the humorist, Dave Barry. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s titled \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Colonoscopy,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and the writer mentions that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s due to become the host to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a tube 17,000 feet\u00e2\u20ac\u009d long. According to Barry, his doctor showed him a color diagram of the colon, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Slightly exaggerated, and I use the term slightly lightly, having become acquainted and re-acquainted with the procedure he describes.<\/p>\n
Unlike Barry\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s column, mine isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about that procedure, but rather on exaggerations in general, and other items alert readers have pointed out. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time to clear out the mailbox.<\/p>\n
Here goes:<\/p>\n
Veronna (Ronni) Roberts e-mailed to tell us that for weeks we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been writing in our Que Pasa notices, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Las Vegas National Wildlife Refuge will be open to mourning dove hunting.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nThen she adds, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know dove hunting was dead.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Good point. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even know there was such a thing as a mourning dove, nor an evening dove nor even a reason to mourn the fact. We need to be more precise, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll recommend to Mercy Lopez, our La Gente editor, that she rephrase it this way: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… will be open to the hunting of mourning doves,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or better yet, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… will be open to the hunting of doves that mourn.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Also writing was Bob Wessely, who cited a comment I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d made earlier about dams and damns. I had written, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153(Dam) … represents a structure that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to solve all of Las Vegas\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 water problems.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nWessely correctly noted in his e-mail that, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Peterson Dam project that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s being proposed will certainly be a big help in the direction of solving Las Vegas\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 water problems. But it will not, even nearly, solve all of Las Vegas\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 water problems.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Right again. How can I convince readers that what I wrote was deliberate, contrived hyperbole? Obviously, City Dads and Moms have been trying for years to solve our water problems, but too often, after declaring our community in Stage 37 (another exaggeration), officials discover that Mother Nature, albeit late, has bailed us out, and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to worry \u00e2\u20ac\u201d ever again.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
In a follow-up e-mail, Wessely pointed out that my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153problems solved\u00e2\u20ac\u009d reference was far enough down in the column so as not to merit a correction. And he acknowledged that my irony was evident. But just for the record, I agree that proposed dam\/damn projects may help but won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t solve all our water problems.<\/p>\n
Remember years back when the drought was so severe that it modified churches\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 baptismal regimens? Instead of immersing, the Mormons sprinkled; instead of sprinkling, the Catholics used a damp towel; and the Presbyterians issued rain checks.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Klare Schmidt earlier sent an e-mail in which she discussed a Texas couple, the man of slight build and woman quite a bit larger. According to Schmidt, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He startled me one time when he announced that he couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t attend one of our little gatherings because he had to \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccarry\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 his wife to the doctor that afternoon.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
I heard that term in the mountains of Virginia years back, but the only other reference that comes to mind, coincidentally, is in the lyrics of an old song, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Carry me back to old Virginny.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Somehow, to carry, as in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153get me there however you can,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d has changed in meaning.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Decades back, there were fewer given names. My female classmates at Immaculate Conception school had names like Eileen, Cecilia, Virginia, Mary Lou, Mary Elaine, Fabiola, Isabel, Julia and Consuelo. Just to show how names and styles have changed, here are the given names exactly as they appeared in a recent caption to a photo of Las Vegas Xplosion\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s softball team: Samantha, Kendra, Shanaya, Savannah, Rhiannon, Ashlea, Mikayla, Makayla and Cailyn.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a Loretta, Delia, Dolores or Margaret in the bunch.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
Also from the mail bag: Chad Boliek forwarded a headline that had appeared in the Journal North: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Deputy Shot Man With Sword.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Adds Boliek, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Modern technology, no doubt.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
And the Columbia Journalism Review, which publishes unintentionally humorous newspaper headlines in each issue, once ran, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Police Kill Man With TV Remote.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Now that must have been the precursor to the Taser.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a2<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153When do we eat?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ahorita!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
That was often our question and Mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s answer. Dinner usually followed a half hour after her \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcahorita, a routine that made us young Trujillos interpret \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ahorita\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153pretty soon,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m ready\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ready when I say it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ready.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
A college friend, raised in Mexico, once invited me on a trip to Santa Fe. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Vamos ahorita,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said and immediately appeared at my office, in the same building.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153But wait a minute, Lee: \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcAhorita\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 means \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcpretty soon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 or \u00e2\u20ac\u02dclater on,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, it means \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcright now.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Are you ready?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve discovered that in places like Mexico and Spain, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ahorita\u00e2\u20ac\u009d comes closer to meaning \u00e2\u20ac\u0153pronto\u00e2\u20ac\u009d than \u00e2\u20ac\u0153later.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I wonder whether New Mexico\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Land-of-Ma\u00c3\u00b1ana attitude tempers the meanings of some words. Of course, in these parts, we usually elide the first vowel and make the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153horita,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d with a silent \u00e2\u20ac\u0153h.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nSo, with that mini-language lesson, this column will end horita.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My mommy told me a hundred million times not to exaggerate. But I continue to do so. When something is outrageously expressed, we can always say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, you ought to know I was exaggerating, deliberately.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d For example, when we say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been waiting for hours for Amtrak to arrive …\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 (Well, that would be accurate.) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/819"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=819"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":820,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/819\/revisions\/820"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rezio.net\/woa\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}