A guest at a local hotel was irate the morning after checking in. “What kind of place are you running here?” he asked the hotelier. “I almost got scalded last night in the shower because both of the handles have Oc’ on them.”
     The manager, nonplussed, pointed out that his hotel tries to epitomize the truly bilingual nature of the community. So he replied, “One Oc’ stands for Ocold,'” and the other stands for Ocaliente.'” He left it to the guests to sort it out.

     Las Vegas remains one of the bastions for northern New Mexico Spanish, or Spanglish. Acute observers can practically pinpoint a person’s hometown on the basis of pronunciation. But because of the pervasiveness of television and the fact that people travel more nowadays, there’s a trend toward standardization.
     Las Vegas clings to its linguistic identity. and it takes newcomers to point that out.
     Years ago, a student from Manhattan mentioned that we denizens of San Miguel County often sing as we speak. Playing along, I replied, “Eeee guuuyyyy, I knooowww.” I also reminded her of how her phrase, “pahhhkk ya caaahhh” is how a New Yorker says, “park your car.”
     Bilingualism is defined as equal facility in two languages. Presumably, if one speaks broken English and also broken Spanish, that person qualifies as bilingual.
     The fact is, in Las Vegas, many conversations among adults are bilingual. As a teen, I coined the term “Spic and Span conversation.” That refers to two waitresses (or, to be politically correct, two wait persons) covering the day’s events in two languages. But before proffering examples, let me explain that the Spic and Span is one of the oldest downtown businesses, and my recollection of the language spoken there goes back to the fifties. The rules of S and S language specify that the conversation open in Spanish, merge into English, contain a word or two that could go either way, and end in Spanish. Following the drift is easy, so no, you won’t need a dictionary. Wait person No. 1 says, “La cosa es que I didn’t feel like going con ella to el show.”
     Wait person No. 2 answers, “Pues, pienso that you should level with her and tell her. ¿Que no?”
     WP1: “Bueno, next time, ven conmigo.”
     WP2: “Muy suave, I’ll do that. Adios.”
     Men are also fluent with S and S talk. One local approached a mechanic with, “Que-vo. I want you to cheqiar my trokita.” The mechanic later explained, “Yo creo que something’s wrong con el clotche.”
     These re-created conversations happened five decades ago, but the rules apply today as well, the main difference is in finding a “clotche” in today’s cars. Sure, there’s a lot of “proper” use of both languages, but it’s the home-spun creations that draw attention.
     A phenomenon among today’s youth is the virtual absence of Spanish in everyday parlance. True, schools conduct Spanish spelling bees; they teach their pupils to perform a Spanish dance for Christmas; and they prime them via bilingual and “immersion” classes.
     Yet, my observation is that, on their own, few native-born students speak Spanish. Taking some free-lance photos of a junior high school basketball team in a rural area in 1978, I was amazed that every word I heard on the playground that day was Spanish.
     About a dozen years later, all that had changed, and Spanish words simply weren’t uttered. Now, people immigrating from Mexico and other Latin American countries have increased the frequency of spoken Spanish. When I hear children speaking Spanish to one another, my impression is that the speakers aren’t native northern New Mexicans.
     One needs to note the difference between acquisition and enhancement of a language. A child who was raised speaking English still has to study that subject for years in school. Is that requirement designed to teach the language he or she already knows, or to refine and develop it?
     The same child taking Spanish-language courses more likely is attempting to learn the language, largely from scratch, and that’s a formidable task, as any school subject comes easier if initiated at home.
     The increasingly prevalent requirement that teachers have or eventually acquire bilingual certification poses some interesting issues on the precise nature, application and aims of bilingual education.
     As a person who has observed the evaporation of casual Spanish over several decades, while at the same time we’re becoming the nation’s largest minority group, I hope to address the topic in more detail in later columns.
     Meanwhile, those in the trenches are welcome to provide input.
     Much more needs to be written about this subject, but as it is Tax Day, it’s time for me to signar my cheque to help fund the tax break el President Bush is giving to los ricos.