It’s a matter of considerable linguistic curiosity to me that the two words in the English language that properly address the influence the moon has on human (and animal) nature are “moonstruck” and “lunatic.”

     The moon definitely has an influence on earth, from determining levels of the tide to factoring in how many babies get born during a full moon. On the night our youngest son, Benji, was born, the obstetrics staff at Las Vegas Hospital worked overtime, delivering four times more babies than at any other recent time.
     But this isn’t about our youngest son; rather about musings on the term “moon” and how it ever got applied to the mimed act of Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss in the first game of the playoffs against Green Bay last week.
     In case you missed the furor, the extremely talented, five-time pro-bowler Randy Moss scored a touchdown which iced the game for Minnesota.
     Rather than doing a dance, or performing the Lambeau Leap, in which Packers jump into the stands after a touchdown, Moss ran toward the opponents’ goalpost, simulated lowering his pants and (sort of) mooned the spectators.
     There hasn’t been so much uproar since last year’s Super Bowl when Justin Timberlake bared Janet Jackson’s right breast, or since Indiana Pacers players charged the stands to attack fans.
     Input on the Internet ranges from a “kick him out of football” reaction to the “boys will be boys” tack. We imagine that if the former Pro Bowl Viking quarterback of yesteryear attempted the same stunt while in the Goodyear Blimp over the Dolphins’ Pro Player Stadium, it would be a matter of “Moon Over Miami.” I side with Moss. Why? Well because what he did was relatively inoffensive.
     Though he may get fined $5,000 for being a warrior derriere carrier, that’s one penny out of $10. Remember, Randy earns $5 million a year. To someone who earns $50,000, that’s the same as a $50 fine.
     The discussion on how mooning got its name still puzzles me. One dictionary provides a much earlier definition, relating to wandering around aimlessly, as if in love. But mooning to denote baring one’s buttocks? I don’t get the connection.
     A friend and I did get a very close view of a mooning several years ago as we drove down Central Avenue in Albuquerque. A carload of girls wearing Highland High School sweaters drove up to a car in front of us. A girl in the passenger’s seat performed her heinie hijinks on some young men in the right lane.
     The reaction of my friend Vince was more shock than awe. It wasn’t what we imagined. Without getting too graphic, let me explain that the young girl placed her plentiful posterior against the inside glass of the car, flattening it and distorting its appearance, much like a face looks weird when pressed against a glass or mirror.
     As the girls’ car sped off, amid paroxysms of laughter, the young men gave chase, possibly to return the favor.
     Now back to Randy. After completing the simulated moon, he went up to the padded goalpost and rubbed his tush against it.
     The game, broadcast by Fox, included a horrified expression by one of the announcers who referred to it as “childish,” “tasteless” and “offensive.” The indignation of the network demonstrates, as a columnist, Dave Zirin says, that “morality and hypocrisy are once again dancing cheek to cheek.” Let’s not forget that Fox is the same network whose reality show, “Who’s Your Daddy?” really elevated the morality bar by awarding $100,000 to a young woman who, given up for adoption at birth, identified her real daddy among a group of about 20. Masterpiece theater this is not. Opinions on the Internet free-for-all run the gamut from “poetic justice,” in which Moss was simply reacting to taunts by Green Bay fans. Others posit, “What’s the big deal? He never removed his clothes.” One writer said the sports environment conduces that type of behavior, in which men continue to play even after helmet-to-helmet contact. And how can Moss’s body language be worse than rampant drug abuse among some players?
     Coincidentally, a cold-remedy commercial scheduled to air during the Super Bowl, features the full and flabby fundament of a 1930s movie star, Mickey Rooney, 84. Last report was that showing Rooney’s backside has not yet been cleared by the networks.
     If it gets approved and millions of us become subjected to Rooney’s rump, I think on that day I’ll look up my friend Vince and go for a drive along Central Avenue. At least the scenery will be better.