The English poet William Wordsworth may have been the first to come up with the puzzling proposition: “The child is father to the man.”
My take on it is that the child grows older, and in becoming a man, has spawned his own maturity.
In my family, three children have become father to the man. No one really remembers exactly when the role reversal took place. It’s true that a part of family evolution requires the offspring to take care of their on-spring. I’m not ready for a nursing home, but that’s not really the concern here. The reversal deals more with the subject of hand-me-downs. Normally, one would expect Dad to say, “Son, this tie I got last Christmas is YOURS.” or “Son, you’d look GREAT in my polyester suit.”
Instead, the items, and information too, are hand-me-ups. I’ve inherited most of my oldest son Stanley Adam’s digital cameras; Ben, the youngest, who outgrew his computer, handed it up to me — for a price.
During one visit, the array of gadgets took on the appearance of a game of Word Salad, as we traded an MP3, CD, VCR, DVD, GPS, TNT, PDA, DDT, MSG, CIA, FBI, PTA, PMS, IRS, BMW, and HDTV — for a price.
Gone are the days when my boys would ask, “Can I go with you?” even if the trip was only to the post office. Now, I do the asking.
There was a time when my wife and I would spell out things in front of the kids: “If they’re good, let’s buy them some i-c-e c-r-e-a-m.”
That lasted until they reached third grade, then they started spelling things out to keep secrets from US, like: “Don’t tell m-o-m about the b-r-o-k-e-n w-i-n-d-o-w.”
The best advice in a long time came from both Ben and Diego, the middle son, who noticed how stressed I’d become over the election. Have I ever been so passionate over an election? Has anyone?”
My sons’ advice was simply, “Dad, stop listening to talk radio. In fact, why don’t you follow the advice of Dr. Andrew Wiel,” a best-selling author who recommends “a day in which we are totally media-free: no TV, no newspapers, no radio, no magazines, no music.”
That’s tough, although some of my co-workers have accused me of taking extended daily mental breaks from my job. Yet I try not to make misteaks when I poofread.
So, mainly as a public service, I’m listing some observations and opinions, influenced largely by what I’ve taken in during this long election season. The list is also therapeutic; some psychologists say it’s good to vent. They also add that sometimes sons’ advice is best.
– Talk-show hosts like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity practically donned cheerleader outfits in rah-rah-rah-ing the “bounce” George Bush registered in the polls immediately after the GOP convention. But when polls showed Kerry gaining, Limbaugh and Hannity argue, “Polls don’t mean a thing.”
– The New York Times quotes Kerry as saying he’d like to reduce terrorism to the level of a nuisance. So the spin-masters cull out only key words and run commercials asserting that Kerry equates the World Trade Center attacks with a “mere nuisance.”
– More than 380 tons of explosives turn up missing in Iraq, under George Bush’s watch. Yet Kerry’s criticism of the debacle is considered “denigrating the American troops,” and disqualifies Kerry as a contender, so Bush says, because Kerry “will say anything to get elected.”
– Listening to talk show programs, one would get the impression that Bush has had many an off-the-record chat with God on which country to invade. – America is mourning the deaths of almost 1,100 soldiers, but yet, BUT YET, conservative estimates are that as many at 12,000 innocent Iraqis, women and children, have been killed –it’s called “collateral damage.” Many of them also have a god, and, regrettably, some of the women killed may also have been pregnant.
– Theresa Heinz Kerry tells a pushy reporter to “shove it” and brings shock and awe to opponents who believe a president can never be married to such a foul-mouthed wife. But when Cheney employs the f-word to urge a U.S. senator to commit an impossible physical act, he’s applauded for plain-speaking. And besides, the object of the wrath “deserved it.”
– Finally, voters of all stripes have attended rallies for Kerry, with cases of attempts to disrupt it. That’s democracy and a First Amendment right. However, when the Cheney camp requires loyalty oaths to attend a Cheney speech in Albuquerque–thus turning an otherwise public rally into a political petting zoo–the ostensible excuse is to “keep out the trouble-makers.”
All right! I’ve voted and I’ve vented. I feel better. I hope I feel MUCH better tomorrow.
And as for my advice-giving sons, I will put away all my “stuff” and even stop reading the Optic, for three days, to complete the break from the media.
And I promise not to get involved in blood-pressure-raising politics . . . at least not for four more years.