(Editor’s note: Today’s column ought to be titled “Work of Art(‘s Son.”) The guest writer is Stan Adam Trujillo, a Robertson High School graduate who wrote four books on computer programming, all before age 28.
     He has taught college-level programming courses for E-Institute. Currently he is a writer-programmer for Microsoft in Seattle.) ———

     My current frustration involves my inability to understand several things about ATMs.
     First, it’s called an “Automatic Teller Machine,” which seems redundant. Are there manual teller machines? Or automatic tellers that aren’t machines? According to this logic, human bank tellers should be called “Automatic Teller Persons.” ATMs should just be called a TM: a Teller Machine.
     Another perplexing thing is the fact that drive-up ATMs have Braille on the buttons. We’d better put Braille on street signs and stop lights if we expect the blind to drive to the ATM
     I find the ATM prompts troubling. I don’t like it when an ATM tries to get friendly with me by displaying text like “Can I speak to you in English or Spanish?” We all know you’re just a machine, ATM—just show me the language options and don’t try to pretend that we’re going to be having a real conversation.
     That gripe is nothing, however, compared to how some ATMs put words in your mouth. It’ll say, “Want a receipt?” and then give me a set of my possible responses like “No thanks,” and “sure!” True, I may say “no thanks” or “sure” to a person, but I would not say that to a machine. This is apparently another attempt to make the ATM seem friendly. Perhaps this helps some people feel more comfortable, but replacing these prompts with “yes” and “no” would be preferable.
     Then there’s the fact that, when entering the amount of money you’d like to withdraw, you have to enter the cents. You have to type in “10000″ for “$100, despite the fact that no ATM I’ve ever seen dispenses change. Some newer ATMs just give you choices like “$20,” “$40,” etc, which is fine, but one has to wonder how many people try for $200 (by entering “200″) and get an error message for requesting $2.
     Finally, when the transaction is complete, my ATM gives me this advice: “Please make sure to remove ALL bills.” Is it possible that someone, somewhere, upon seeing the stack of new $20 bills said to himself, “Ya know, I don’t really need ALL this cash. I’ll just take one or two of these and leave the rest.”
     Often, idiotic messages like this one are the result of a lawsuit. Perhaps someone sued a bank or an ATM manufacturer on the grounds that the ATM did not tell him to take ALL of the cash.