AMSTERDAM, The Netherlands – Anyone dissatisfied with almost-$4 gasoline prices can’t expect corresponding savings by flying. Our recent international flight cost my family . . . well, you don’t really want to know. Nor do we. Only our credit-card issuer has any interest.

To make the trip across the Atlantic, aircraft need to be big, bulky and commodious. The usual seating arrangement is two aisles, with two seats on the left, two on the right and three or four in the middle.

We tried to sleep upright, being crowded by our seatmate. The worst seat on a long flight is next to the window. Sure, it’s fun to watch the takeoff and landing, but the rest of the time, all we see are clouds.

Choice of the aisle seats, where available, depends on whether the passenger would rather step on seatmates, or be stepped on. Flights of this duration necessitate getting up regularly, moving our legs, stretching, and drinking water. The water consumption at once ameliorates and exacerbates the problem: it makes people get up more frequently, and it also makes people get up more frequently.

This year, the plane was full, giving no one a chance to pre-empt a bank of seats. So we all suffered, getting up often, exercising our legs to avoid clots.

•••

Evidence of the shrinking American dollar showed up when we drew out kroners, Danish currency, using our American credit cards. Whereas our first trip yielded more than six kroners per American dollar, the rate is now closer to five. And a euro, the currency adopted in 1999 by 11 European countries, used to be equal to our dollar, but today one euro equals about $1.48.

Our son Stan, whose wedding in Denmark we attended in September, carefully explained that we’re now required to pay more dollars and receive fewer kroners and euros than before.

With euros in hand, during our cruise down the Rhine, some acquaintances joined us on a walking tour of downtown Amsterdam, touted as “an hour away from everything in Europe.” We’d heard about Amsterdam’s infamous red-light district and the openness when it comes to the purchase and use of some drugs we Americans call illegal.

We stopped into a little shop to pay for postcards and found ourselves in a line of young people stocking up on smoking supplies. And they weren’t exactly buying Marlboros. The odor of pot smoke was everywhere in that downtown area dotted with kaffeetoriums and cigaretoriums.

A fellow traveler, possibly in his 70s, said he’d seen a large woman, in the late stages of pregnancy, standing behind a window, plying her trade, issuing some coquettish come-hither gestures to passersby. Dutch hookers, licensed and medically inspected weekly, rent their downtown display windows. In New Mexico, prostitutes get arrested, as the practice is illegal.

As instant experts on Dutch currency, culture and customs, we opted for a canal cruise, where we picked up interesting bits of Netherlands trivia. Among them:

• There is really no such place as Holland; it’s the Netherlands; however Dutch products such as tulips, cheese, windmills and wooden shoes seem much more appealing when connected with the word “Holland.”

• With 17.2 million residents packed into an area of relatively few square miles, the Dutch may be among the top five most-congested places on the globe. Our guide told us the population density of the Netherlands is almost like that of Bangladesh.

• Although we English-speakers would like to believe our language is spoken throughout Europe, don’t believe it. True, the Dutch may answer you in English, but will almost never initiate such a conversation.

• Dutch is virtually unpronounceable to the uninitiated. Imagine a cabbie not laughing when we ask him to take us to Nieuwezijds Voorgurgwal, which runs parallel to Egelantiersgracht.

Some people on our river cruise agreed with me that for some reason “Dutch” has too often been used to put down Hollanders.

For example, “Dutch treat” is no treat at all; a “Dutch Uncle” is a cold, unsympathetic advice-giver; “double-Dutch” is gibberish; and “Dutch courage” is a stiff drink before attempting something risky.

Yes, they agreed linguistic put-downs are plentiful, but in spite of their being able to list many more such terms, only one of a dozen had heard the term “You’re in Dutch.” No one knew why it carries that meaning.

I heard this long ago, used any time an older sibling or classmate wished to brace me for upcoming consequences for actions I hadn’t yet committed or been aware of.

But I mustn’t procrastinate on this column, in spite of the fact that the time here is midnight, whereas it’s 4 p.m. in Las Vegas.

I’ll be in Dutch with the Optic if I don’t finish now.